Marriage Customs of India's Hindu Majority
Arranged Marriages, Astrology, and Finding a Spouse in India
Oct 7, 2009
Love may be in the air in Indian marriages, but it is most often the love of parents for their children rather than romantic love between bride and groom that is common in marriages in the West.
Indian Views on Love Marriages and the Role of Arranged Marriages in India
Though what is referred to as “love marriages” do happen in India, they are frowned upon and are viewed as a less than ideal way to find a spouse. Love marriages can be defined as marriages that come about as a result of a man and woman falling in love. Instead of love marriages, arranged marriages are the most common way to find a spouse in India.
In India, most of the responsibility for arranging a marriage falls on the bride’s father. He must choose a prospective groom for his daughter and must then approach the prospective groom’s father about the possibility of marriage. Arranging a marriage for his daughters is perhaps the most daunting task an Indian father faces. A great deal of shame results for a father if he has not managed to arrange a marriage for his daughter by a particular age. (What is considered to be the optimal age for marriage varies by caste and also by education level and location. For instance, marriages generally take place in the teenage years among India’s lower-caste tribal people and at older ages, after college, among India’s privileged higher-caste.)
Although many Indian parents choose a spouse based on what they feel is best for their children, they may also make marriage decisions based on the size of dowry and other ways the family may benefit from the arranged marriage.
The Role of Astrology in Marriages Among Hindus in India
Once the prospective bride and groom’s fathers have agreed to a match, Hindu families have another step to take before finalizing the arrangements for marriage: they must make sure that the potential spouse’s horoscopes match sufficiently.
The prospective Hindu bride and groom must each provide their horoscopes to a Hindu priest (known as a pundit) who must then determine if the horoscopes match. The pundit will analyze what is known as “janat patri” in the horoscope to determine how many match. If an insufficient number of janat patri match, the marriage cannot take place and the search for the ideal spouse starts from scratch.
How Spouses are Found in India
A large number of family and friends may be involved in the process of finding a spouse in India. Indians are excellent networkers and once it is known that the search for a spouse is in process, word of mouth goes a long way toward connecting potential spouses. These connections may come about through school connections, business connections and family connections.
Classified ads in newspapers also play a part in finding a spouse in India. There is no stigma attached to finding a spouse through newspaper ads because matrimonial classified ads in India are focused on a life-time commitment rather than a temporary romantic relationship. Matrimonial classified ads in India are most often divided into categories based on religion and caste and may include other attributes of the prospective bride or groom based on character, education, profession, and looks.
Barbers are often involved in the matchmaking process in India because they know a large number of people and are also privy to a lot of gossip. The potential bride’s father may ask a barber for the scoop on a prospective groom’s family prior to approaching the prospective groom’s father.
Although times are changing in India and many Indians are adopting western culture and customs, it will likely be a long time before love marriages become the norm in India.
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